Placerville here we come

April 12, 2013 5 Comments

Al Fresco
Last weekend, amid history being made and discovering new sisterfriends, we also took a trip up to what we got word will be our new hometown. Placerville is just East of Sacramento, a short twenty minutes away from the edge of the city, resting at the foot of the Sierra mountains. It’s an old gold mining town along the southern route to Tahoe and it’s covered in trees and streams and history.

Cary House
While we’ve been waiting for Bear to start this new job and find out where our final destination was, we’ve heard all kinds of rumors – maybe Fresno, maybe Davis, maybe Ukiah – and when some of them didn’t pan out I was relieved, and when others didn’t pan out I was heartbroken. But it all worked out for the best because I cannot imagine a place I would rather set down roots than what I found this weekend.

Bear’s employers stressed that he couldn’t commute. He HAD to live in Placerville. Apparently in Gold Country there are townies, and there are tourists. And they need us to be townies. I could not be more happy to comply. I’ve been looking for a hometown my whole life. We were told we need to really become a part of the community – go to Chamber of Commerce events, enter things in the fair, go to the Farmer’s Markets – it’s like I’m being thrown in the briar patch. Oh all right, if you insist. Sheesh. Give me everything I’ve ever wanted, why don’t you.

Emigrant Jane
We strolled down Main Street and played tourist, until we earn our Townie status, and it’s like this place was custom made in my dreams. Wonderful restaurants, historical markers, antique shops. There was a store where a couple reclaimed old furniture and painted it in bold creamy colors, a children’s clothing store where a gal with a nose ring sewed the clothes she then hung on the rack for sale, an independent bead store, gourmet food shops selling special cheeses and locally made mustard, and an independent yarn store. And then. Not only was it an independent needlepoint store, it was a NOT FOR PROFIT CO-OP needlepoint store. I got to chatting with the ladies inside and they told me all about their Sit ‘n Stitch days, and the locals only secret for where to park all day without paying.

Sweetie Pies
When we were up this weekend, we stopped at this place – a restaurant and bakery in a converted victorian house – ate homemade pie and bread on the closed in porch, and made instant friends with our dining neighbors. One table couldn’t get enough of Atticus, even giving him a hug on their way out the door, and at the other table…Oh the other table. A lady came in with a gorgeous black lab named Gatsby. There were dogs everywhere we went in Placerville, including the restaurants, and Gatsby and Atticus fell in love. Gatsby’s owner and I laughed over our literary nerd-dom and Atti refused to eat his lunch so he could wheel his chair over and drape himself across Gatsby’s side for a big hug.

This is the place where we’re going to make all our dreams come true. And I have some big dreams.

Filed Under: Atticus, Grand Schemes and Other Plans, My Dreamhouse in Progress, The Good Life

Cat out of the bag

March 29, 2013 5 Comments

Family Outing

Finally. FINALLY. I can talk about the big secret that’s been bottlenecking all my blogging mojo.

Bear has succeeded in bagging his white whale – he’s gotten his dream job. There is a long long sordid history of interest to no one but us, but this has been a journey that started before Atti was born, took a couple of unpleasant side trips, popped back up just before Christmas, and today is finally Bear’s first day at work. He’s still a hospital administrator, but now for a different company and what makes this his dream job over the other one is so inside I can barely even keep it straight myself so I won’t bore you all with it, but he is over the moon.

What this means for our family, besides a very happy husband, is still largely to be determined. The company basically liked Bear so much that they hired him without a building for him to run, so for now he’s just kind of … waiting. Hopefully it won’t be too long and we should find out more once he’s been there for more than a few hours, but as of right now he’s just helping out in another building while we wait to hear if we’ll be moving somewhere.

Rumors have led us to get all excited a few times, only for the rumors to not pan out, so I’m really really trying to be patient and just let things happen, but it is rough for me. I’m not exactly great at processing things privately, so having to sit on my hands and not share my angst as I wait to see where the heck I’m going to end up next year….how’s a girl supposed to cope?

Wherever we end up will bring us the chance to buy another house – maybe even build one this time. Maybe even get my dream farm. So I want to plan and scan real estate and go for long drives in the country, but I just don’t know what part of the country to go driving in. Well, probably Northern California, but it’s still kind of a big place. There’s a lot of roads.

We’ll definitely be in this house until the end of the school year, because there’s no way I’m giving up Atti’s teachers. But it looks like Atti will most likely start Kindergarten in a new place. Hopefully a new place that will see just how brilliant and stubborn and amazing he is like these teachers did. So until we hear different, we’re still stuck in limbo. But at least now it’s on the way to having all our dreams come true, and not waiting for the floor to drop out beneath us.

Filed Under: Are you kidding me?, Grand Schemes and Other Plans, My Dreamhouse in Progress, The Good Life

Tutorial: Family Goal Ornament

March 22, 2013 Leave a Comment

Family Goal Leaf
This week is a big one for sharing new traditions. Since New Year’s found me in a bit of a funk (if by a bit of a funk you mean clinical depression), and Atti’s birthday comes right on top of it, you get two traditions in one week. A real sign that the dark days are behind me.

Like a lot of people, I’ve occasionally tried to do a “word of the year.” One word that can inspire my endeavors for the whole year, that I can focus my energies towards. But like most people, I’d forget what the word was about three weeks after I chose it, and out would go all those good intentions.

So in wanting to start my year of seasonal traditions, I wanted to revisit this. Instead of a personal word of the year, I decided that we should have a family goal. So we all sat down and thought about what this year would bring us and chose a word we wanted to use to set our goals around. Since this year is bringing us big opportunities and big changes, we chose “courage.”

Family Goal Leaf Pieces
To make sure that I wouldn’t forget our word, I wanted to make something that would keep it visible. And I loved the thought that by making something, I’d be keeping a family record of these goals. So I went for something that would be heirloom quality. Which in my world always means crosstitch. I made up a pattern with our goal on one side, and our team name and year on the other, and then cut them into a leaf shape.

Family Goal Leaf Crosstitch
I put the two embroidered pieces back to back with two thin layers of batting in between them for stability, and then stitched an overlock zig zag stitch all the way around the outside, tucking a loop of ribbon in before sewing up the top so it can act as a hanger.

Crosstitch Pattern
This is the image I created to crosstitch, which you are welcome to borrow. To make a pattern out of it there are a whole bunch of awesome online pattern generators, and here’s one I think is particularly good.

Want me to talk you through it step by step? Here you go!

Need to learn to crosstitch? I’ll walk you through that step by step too!

I really love the thought that as the years go by we’ll have more and more of these leaves, with more and more values that we’ve grown together as a family. These will become the visual representation of the family tree we’re building, one day at a time.

Filed Under: Grand Schemes and Other Plans, mama musings, Stuff I Make, The Good Life, Tutorials

Having it all, just not the way I imagined

March 11, 2013 1 Comment

Writing

From the time that I was little, I wanted to be an actress. I’m a classic middle child: sensitive, feeling deprived of attention, venturing far afield to find it, and loved pretending to be somebody else. Somebody who was having a very different kind of childhood. I begged my parents to let me try acting as a kid, but that was just one on a very long list of wants and needs that didn’t get attended to. So I pined, and waited, convinced that someday I’d be able to use what I was sure was a legendary talent.

As I got older I kept my hand in performing where I could, but things became much more about safety and security than in exploring that dream. I didn’t even have a roof over my head, I couldn’t exactly pay for headshots. Once I met Bear I felt like I had enough of that security to revisit acting, but I only had time to take a couple of drama classes before I graduated. And then we took off for Southern California and a chance to find my big break.

Back then I was far more conservative in how I practiced my religion. I somehow expected to move to LA with no training, no experience, and no contacts, and get an agent and a job while saying I won’t do nude scenes, or love scenes of any kind, or wear revealing clothing, like a tank top, or swear, or take the Lord’s name in vain, or smoke, or drink, or appear to be smoking or drinking, or portray content that might earn an R. What a dum dum.

Very quickly I found myself at a point where I had to reevaluate. For me the question wasn’t what it is for so many women who act – Do I just do what they want me to do and shut up about it? Even/especially if that means showing my boobs? – instead of reexamining my faith or my values I reexamined my desires. I sat down with myself and really asked what I wanted out of life. Did I want red carpets and juicy parts? Or did I want that elusive safety and security? And of those two things, what was I willing to do to get it? I took one look around at the competition and I knew that either answer was going to be costly.

For many women, this doesn’t have to be an either/or. But it was for me. Then. Married at 20 to a wonderful but traditional man who didn’t really get my creative side just yet, I didn’t just have myself to consider. Bear was still in school, we were living in a total craphole apartment, he couldn’t find work, we needed to go back to addressing security. And that’s when I realized that that’s what I wanted more than anything else. More than my dreams of artistic expression and creative fulfillment, I dreamed of having a home. Of not worrying where my next meal was coming from. Of creating a place of peace and safety for myself and everyone I loved. So I let go of my dreams of acting.

But they didn’t let go of me. Every Oscar season has me pining away at what could have been. Every time I’d see a play I’d think about what I would’ve done differently. I’ve never regretted the choice I made, just that I had to make one.

Last week I auditioned for the Sacramento site of the Listen To Your Mother storytelling show. I first discovered it at BlogHer when they held a salon where a bunch of bloggers read posts they were particularly proud of, and it was amazing. Hearing a bunch of women take themselves, their work, their efforts seriously and share it with a roomful of strangers was magical. And I knew I had to be a part of it. Lucky for me they agreed, and on Mother’s Day I’ll be performing my piece at the Crest Theater in Sacramento with a bunch of other awesome women as we discuss motherhood in all it’s hilarious, poignant, troubling, complicated, transcendent glory.

Since I gave up on acting I’ve done some public speaking and a bunch of press, podcasts, and now a couple storytelling performances. It’s not the pretending and imagining I used to love, but it is the performing. And that’s enough. My road has been a lot more circuitous than I would have scripted it myself, but that’s what it takes to have it all in these modern times. Not everything can be the top priority all the time, so we just have to get a little more creative to find ways to cram in all the things we want to do. Getting up on that stage on Mother’s Day will be the way I do it, with my family in the audience, and then I’ll go home to the place I’ve made for us, safe and secure, and happy.

Filed Under: Grand Schemes and Other Plans, mama musings, The Good Life

A Mormon Feminist on International Women’s Day

March 8, 2013 1 Comment

Courtney and Carina and me
My pals CJane and Azucar, speaking at BYU today! If you’re in Utah, you still have time. Go catch them talk about work/life balance and having it all!

I had a craft tutorial all lined up to share today, but once I logged on to read the news this morning and realized it was International Women’s Day, I knew I had to talk about something completely different.

I don’t make it the focus of this blog, but it’s important enough to me that I’m sure it’s bled through here and there: I am a feminist. And I am that special breed of feminist known as the Mormon Feminist. A wild and unruly group of women dedicated to their heritage, their community, their God, and each other, as we work and hope and pray for greater gender equity. This often means something different in each of our lives, which is wonderful. It means we’ve gotten big and strong enough as a movement to support diversity of thought. It’s a thrilling time to be engaged in this work.

From both inside and outside of the church, I often experience a great deal of resistance (read: people calling for my excommunication and/or telling me I’m a manhating harpy). People inside of the church often misinterpret my efforts as being critical or condemning of church leaders. I’ve been accused of being apostate, being dangerous for young minds, being selfish or prideful, that I think I know better than the men called to lead this church, that I’m on a swift path to hell. Those reactions say so much more about the people reacting than they do about me. I believe the scriptures when they say that “all are alike unto God,” and I know enough about church history and structure to know that even the best and most righteous of us get it wrong. Each of us are human beings fumbling our way along to progression, and it doesn’t need to change anything about how we view authority to acknowledge that there are times when we can’t help but be blinded by our experiences and prejudices.

The people who react so viscerally to me are reacting out of those experiences and prejudices. They are reacting out of fear. Fear of not having someone in charge who is always right. Fear of change. Often just fear of being wrong.

Religious people want to do right. And they want to be right. And often that desire can make them believe that there is only one right answer to this mortal condition. One way to be, one path to take, one choice to make. But that just doesn’t jive with reality, or, for that matter, scriptural precedent.

I have often described myself as a “red-letter Mormon.” Meaning that what moves me and calls to me and most informs my choices are the words of Jesus Christ. And Jesus was about love. Not the law. So I get frustrated at the people who think that I’m dangerous while they complain about people wearing leggings or sleeveless sundresses, they gossip and judge, and show such deep unkindness. And of course that’s just the most benign example. That doesn’t even touch on the behavior that really keeps me working. The times when women experience abuse and don’t have someone who can help or understand them. Those hopefully rare but still extant occasions when a leader grossly oversteps and commits spiritual abuse or even commits assault. All the women and girls in this church who don’t have a voice in the power structure. I know they have a voice with God, and I know he wants us all to do better.

The secular critics roll their eyes at me and say that if I just left the church I’d have no more of these problems. They blame religious institutions for every problem in humanity and shake their heads at efforts to change them as if I was Don Quixote tilting at windmills. To them I shake my head right back. Religion certainly has its problems, which I can probably enumerate better than most since I’m the one here in the trenches, but it is just naive to think that leaving a church will end the problems of sexism. There is no feminist utopia. Anywhere. Any institution from the government to corporations to the media will still repeat these same problems. It’s systemic. And since religion isn’t disappearing, at least in our lifetime, this is something I can contribute that has the potential to affect millions of lives.

Many more people wonder why we need feminism at all. They have the freedom to vote, get an education, work at a job they like, they feel like we’re all good now and people like me who want to keep up the fight are just whiners. Those people are the luckiest people on the planet. They’ve been surrounded by people who didn’t hurt or neglect or assault them, they’ve never been denied opportunity because of their gender, they’ve never faced the problems of poverty that disproportionately affect women or needed to take control of their fertility and been denied. Because of their great fortune, they just don’t see all the other people around the world and on their doorstep who still struggle with the same things we’ve been struggling with forever. If you think there’s no need for feminism today, it means that you’re not paying attention to the people who don’t have it as comfortably as you do.

Last night I got together with some of my favorite friends and we talked about the people who are mean to me or judge me or work to limit what I can do at church, and even in that discussion I realized how lucky I am. I sat with these wonderful women who genuinely care about me and support me, who understand that I do what I do out of love and loyalty to the church, out of love of God and my fellow woman, who reassure me and buoy me up as we eat frozen yogurt and laugh and laugh and laugh, and I am so grateful that I get to experience all the best parts of sisterhood. There are costs to doing this work, but so so so many more benefits. So I’m going to keep it up until women all around the world get to experience that same feeling.

Filed Under: Do-gooding, Grand Schemes and Other Plans, Matters of Faith

No time for sickness

February 6, 2013 126 Comments

 

Snuggles
Already this year Atti had a surgery to put tubes in his ears, now he’s having surgery to fix his cute little wonky eyes, and he’ll have two more surgeries in the upcoming months to fix other things that don’t work right when you have cerebral palsy. Of course, working around surgeons and specialists I don’t have the luxury of waiting until school is on a break. So he misses a lot of school. Which means that I have to do everything I can to keep him healthy the rest of the time. When he’s missing weeks at a time recovering from surgeries, there’s no way I can let some sniffles slow us down. I’ve got to use everything I’ve got to keep him well, and when he does get sick, get him better fast.

I’m excited to be partnering with Mucinex to share some ideas to get through this cold and flu season with a smile. I don’t often have an excuse to slow down and take a whole day to play, so I want to get through the whining and the discomfort as quickly as possible to use that sick time to create some special memories. In future posts I’ll be sharing some great sick day activities to make this time count, but for today I want to talk prevention. Since Atti was born in February and with significant respiratory issues, I was that mom that wouldn’t take her child in public for the first six months of his life. I got some grief over that, but he never got sick and I don’t regret it!

Nowadays we wash our hands religiously, maybe a little too religiously. I have walked in on Atti pulling wipe after wipe out of the container as he sings, “This is the way we wash our hands..” and laughs his head off. Apparently he thinks Mama’s a little crazy. We’re also big juice drinkers around here. Whenever I hear Atti start to sniff I pump him full of orange juice and stop that sniffle where it stands. And of course we’re big believers in the power of snuggles.

I always say it in the disclaimer, but let me emphasize here that I only work with companies I can wholeheartedly support and that I spend my own money on. I turn down a LOT of ad partnerships. But I jumped on this one because I actually do use Mucinex for myself and my family. I first tried Mucinex when my doctor recommended it to me, and it’s now as much a staple for sickness as tissues and ginger ale. This is a product I would recommend to anybody, whether I was being sponsored or not.

When your child has a bad cold, you both can feel miserable. Children’s Mucinex is the #1 children’s brand for relieving congestion* and provides fast acting relief from your child’s worst cold symptoms. Try Children’s Mucinex Multi-Symptom Cold if your child needs relief from stuffy nose and chest congestion. Always use Children’s Mucinex Multi-Symptom Cold as directed. (*Based on IRI unit share data for the 52 weeks ending November 2012)

Mucinex is offering a $2 off coupon so you can try it for yourself. Just click the link and you can start saving.

But if you leave a comment you might get to save a whole lot more with a $100 gift card to CVS! We wanna hear how you keep those sick kids entertained, and one lucky commenter will get to win! So good luck, and tell me: What activity makes your child smile when under the weather?

 

No duplicate comments.

You may receive 1 total entry by leaving a comment in response to the sweepstakes prompt on this post.

This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Winners will be selected via random draw, and will be notified by e-mail. You have 72 hours to get back to me, otherwise a new winner will be selected.

The Official Rules are available here.

This sweepstakes runs from 2/6/2013 – 3/31/2013


Be sure to visit the Children’s Mucinex Multi-Symptom Cold page on BlogHer.com where you can read other bloggers’ reviews and find more chances to win!

Filed Under: Atticus, Grand Schemes and Other Plans

Multitasking a Life

January 22, 2013 Leave a Comment

Multitasking

I wrote a book you guys. I don’t think I’ve really taken the time to properly process that. I finished the first draft on Christmas Eve and then spent the rest of the holiday weeping with relief and pride and disbelief. I knew immediately that there were things I needed to change, but I wanted to let it sit for a while before picking it right back up. Which is part of what I’ve been doing while I’ve been away. Sitting. Sleeping. Walking slowly from room to room. Recharging. Mulling. It’s been awesome.

I’ve finished my first read through and how I feel about it depends on the day. Sometimes I think it might actually be good. Maybe even…important? Other times it feels like something I wouldn’t take to the beach with me. That’s a creative person for you.

Before I take a second pass at it, I’ve been doing some reading. There’s some things I want to think about, research to do, practice to complete, and that reading has been another luxurious thing in my days. Even better because I don’t have to try to rationalize it. I can lay down and read and still feel like I’m accomplishing something that must get done. I wish I appreciated that more when I was in school.

It’s all been such a nice change from the pace of last year, and I know it can’t last forever unless I’m willing to change a whole lot about my life. But these are the dilemmas of our modern age, right? Every woman I know – those that stay home with their kids and those that don’t, those that have a job that pays them money, and those that don’t – struggles with balance. Work/Life balance, Family/Self balance, the balance between what goes in and what goes out. It’s a dilemma for everyone. So thank you to all of you who have been patient with my attempts at balance.

I don’t think I’ll ever be one of those women who is content with a simple life. I read those blogs like tabloids – the seasonal learning, the connection to nature, the pondering over grand themes while witnessing the smallest changes – I love it so much but it’s all like reading about parties I will never attend or glamorous people I will never know. I’m too ambitious, my own rhythms too chaotic. But I think I’m learning to be OK with that. My own method of peaks and valleys has its own advantages if I know how to handle it, and on the days I get it right? I feel like the most powerful woman in the world.

On the days I get it right I get to have my cake and eat it too. I get to write my novel with my son playing at my feet, I get to have his singing heard on an interview with the Huffington Post, I get to retreat into the arms of my family when the rest of the world overwhelms me, I get to participate in the big picture of impact I want to make on the world and the small picture of the impact I want to make on my son. It’s so worth the juggling act to me.

Filed Under: Grand Schemes and Other Plans, The Good Life

Getting my house in order

January 14, 2013 5 Comments

Snuggle time

Over these last few weeks as I’ve forced myself to slow down, I’ve followed tradition and used the new year to evaluate a few things about my life. 2012 was a bonkers year. Totally, totally, bonkers. And completely out of balance. I worked so hard I can’t quite believe it, writing a novel, outlining a craft book, building several websites, launching Foxy Like A Crafter, launching my Youtube channel, and making appearances all over the place talking about politics and religion. Plus coping with my new diagnosis of Bipolar II disorder, and going on fertility drugs. It was too much. Way way way too much.

Part of all that was fueled by opportunities that I desperately wanted to seize, some of it was being caught up in an election year zeitgeist, and some of it was my own relentless, pulsing need to work work work. After Christmas I was so exhausted that for the first time in all my ten years of blogging, I actually thought about packing it all in. I had spent the year doing all of the current “best practices” of blogging, and none of them were worth it. Instead they sucked all the joy right out of blogging for me. Being worried about click rate, or being pinterest optimized, or having every post be worthy of stand alone content made me have to work so hard it wasn’t fun, and get away from what I think I’m actually good at.

Right now it feels like everyone is a lifestyle blogger. And the cranky old grandma blogger in me wants to talk about the good ol days when everything was personal, and some people would put on a show, but everybody thought those people were lame, and we all reveled in the anarchy of the internet where we could put up whatever we wanted and do things our own way. Now it feels like everyone is more concerned with branding than with discovery. With doing things the “best” way than doing things their own way. Everybody wants to be the next lifestyle brand instead of actually sharing the facts of the actual lives.

More and more I’m seeing bloggers try to be a one woman magazine, following the model of Martha Stewart or Better Homes and Gardens, complete with round up after round up. Which can be OK, curating is a worthwhile talent if it’s really curating and not just gathering. If anyone can find what you’ve included in your round up with a simple google search, I think it’s worth asking how much you’re contributing. Forcing this model on yourself when it doesn’t come naturally dilutes your individuality, muddies what you actually have to offer that is unique and engaging, until eventually other people come on board to help lift the load and it’s really not about one person’s voice anymore.

I started blogging because I wanted to be a writer. And after all these years I have finally succeeded in writing an actual book. Who knows if anyone will ever read it, but that can’t be the point. The point is that in these years of blogging, I have discovered my writing voice. I have opportunities in front of me I never imagined, I have accomplishments I was too terrified to contemplate, and none of that has come from the times I tried to quiet my own inner voice and blog the way the experts said I should blog. So I’m not going to bother with that anymore.

I’ve decided that I have to take a step back from a couple of things, re-prioritize a few more, and remember why I do all this in the first place. I believe that these days the only way to make a living blogging is to get lucky. And since I can’t exactly force that, I’m going to get back to what I’ve always loved about blogging, and that is sharing the pure unvarnished truth of a life in progress. I am a writer, but I’m also an artist and a cook and a crafter, so all of those things come along with an honest portrayal of myself. I don’t know that things will look that different to you readers. But internally, I’m letting go of all the advice, I’m not going to worry about having a perfectly polished end product every time, I’m not going to feel guilty about missing a day, and I’m going to go back to doing this for me. And for us. Because I believe that whenever people are authentic, it allows other people the opportunity to do the same.

Filed Under: Grand Schemes and Other Plans, The Good Life

Returning to Life

January 8, 2013 4 Comments

Whew! Did I ever need that break! Sorry to just disappear without a word, but by the end of December I was running on fumes. 2012 was the hardest working year I’ve ever had.

When I look back over my goals for the year, I left a lot undone. Not a ton of crafting for the house, but that’s what happens with a move. No themed Christmas tree, still no headboard, but I did succeed in my biggest long term goals. I wrote a proposal for a craft book (no luck on that one so far), I launched Foxy Like A Crafter, and I finally completed my life long goal of writing a novel. It’s only a first draft, but still. I did it.

So 2012 was a big year for me. Not only did I complete those goals, but I appeared all over the press talking about my religious and political views, and (this one totally caught me by surprise) I launched a YouTube channel. It’s the YouTube channel that I’m currently the most excited about. Once I finished the craft book proposal I sent it to some production companies. I thought it would be an easy transition to a television series. But everyone kept saying, “No one wants a craft show right now.” And after hitting my head up against a bunch of rejections, it occurred to me: I’m a blogger. Why am I trying to do things the old fashioned way? A few months later I met some folks from Maker Studios, I learned about the wonder that is YouTube, and now I’ve entered into a whole new internet world.

Which is welcome. 2013 is my 10th year of blogging. 10! Years! Not all of that is here, thank goodness, because I sucked for a good long while, but a total of 10 years. With that much time behind me I need to find ways to keep things fresh, and now I not only have a whole new medium to learn, but I have a team of awesome moms to do it with.

2012 was also a year of learning a whole lot more about how to take care of myself. It’s now been a year since I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder, and I have to give myself some props and say that I am doing a really great job of managing it. Which is a big reason why I had to disappear for three weeks. Now that I know what my consequences are, I have to pay a lot closer attention to my internal gas gauge, and when the needle hits E I have to stop what I’m doing and pull over. I can no longer afford to push through to keep my crazy agenda – an agenda I set myself of course – without some big scary things awaiting me. And because you all have been so wonderfully supportive of me for so many years, I know you’ll understand.

As is so appropriate for our lives, we’re starting this year out in limbo. There’s some big job things on the horizon for Bear, Atti has three more surgeries coming up, and I have to try to do something with all these manuscripts I spent last year writing. So who knows where 2013 will end up taking us. Judging from past history, the only thing I can count on is that a year from now I’ll be sitting down to write a post just like this one, marveling at how the year ended up so different than I could have ever imagined for myself.

Filed Under: Are you kidding me?, Grand Schemes and Other Plans, The Good Life

Trophy Wife

November 13, 2012 Leave a Comment

Oooh I'm so fancy

As I type this I’m sitting in a hotel room in Palm Springs, in my pajamas. Bear has another one of his work conferences, and so I’m dragged along to play the part of supportive spouse and arm candy. I scoff, but it is a pretty sweet gig. I’ve got a lovely hotel room all to myself to work on finishing off this never ending book project of mine, and then I get all dressed up for a fancy dinner on some corporate expense account. And since I don’t know any of these people and will probably never see them again, I can forget the efforts at conversation and just stuff my face with food I’m not paying for.

Last night I ate fried artichoke hearts, a lamb shank with goat cheese mashed potatoes, and a chocolate orange pot du creme. And I don’t regret it one bit.

I’ve been getting some good work done, but I’m thinking I might just take the rest of the day off. This is my first time in Palm Springs and it feels like this town was made for me. The midcentury modern influence in this town is second to none, and between the antique stores and the thrift stores I may be reduced to a puddle of greedy tears. I want the world! I want the WHOLE world! Or at least all the gorgeous vintage stuff I’m seeing. I have managed to fight temptation and keep working, but I think a stroll down the main drag is in order. I won’t consider this trip a success unless I come home with something fabulous I wouldn’t be able to find anyplace else.

Filed Under: Grand Schemes and Other Plans, The Good Life
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