We spent the weekend off on a business trip for Bear that happened to be at Pebble Beach. So, yeah, that happened. The girl who lived in her car and learned to keep orange juice in the glove compartment because it didn’t go bad as fast as milk now has an opinion on which luxury resort spa has the better masseuse. I just…it’s too bizarre to fit in one lifetime.
But while I was getting massaged and pampered, and while Bear was off playing a world class golf course (all on his company’s dime), Atti was off spending time with his grandparents. They drove up from Orange County to watch Atti for us and they decided to all have a little vacation in Monterey while the parents were away.
When we first brought up the idea of going to the aquarium, Atti thought we were offering him goldfish crackers and got super pissed off when they never arrived. I’ve been taking him to zoos for years and he’s just reacted with the bored expression of a teenager being dragged away from their cell phone, but the last time we tried there was a petting zoo and he could not get enough of those goats. I figured he might be ready to at least not be sullen and screamy as my inlaws enjoyed a walkthrough.
Not living close by and having daily contact with Atti, they’ve struggled to learn his communication style. They have other grandkids they see much more regularly, and all but one are typically developing, bright little funny kids. And even the other grandkid with challenges interacts with them and speaks to them in his adorable little voice. Then they see Atti a few times a year, he doesn’t talk to them like the others do, and it’s easy to make assumptions. Most people do. When we’re together I have to spend a lot of time reminding them to not put limitations on him, to pick up on his cues, and to remember that he understands everything going on around him.
According to the inlaws:
There was one room in the aquarium that had a lot of statues of different things, but they weren’t really paying attention to them because they were surrounded by sparkling sardines swimming around the whole of the room. Grandma kept asking Atti if he was ready to move on to go look at the jellyfish, and he wouldn’t go to them. Instead he’d wheel his chair over to one of the statues and pat it. Grandma would let him look at the sardines some more, and then try to get him to leave to see the jellyfish again. So he’d go back over to the statue and pat it. Grandma said, hitting herself on the head as she told me the story, that it took her about four times before she realized that the statue he kept patting was a jellyfish. He was showing her he understood.
Grandma took that picture up there. He was entranced with the jellyfish.
Later in their visit they stopped by the octopus tank where the uncooperative octopi would only show the crowd their suckers vacuumed on to the glass. Atti was not so entranced then, but in the next room they got to hear one of the biologists talking to a group of kids about octopi. The speaker had an octopus with her and was explaining how an octopus’s body functioned. She showed the suckers on the tentacles and Grandma showed Atti how those were what he had seen in the tank. The biologist explained how smart octopi are – all the ways they can distinguish between trainers and even do tricks – and Grandma told Atti that the octopus was smart just like him. The biologist explained that octopi are very shy – how they can camouflage themselves and ink and swim away super fast – and Grandma told Atti how the octopus was shy just like him. She said, “The octopus is just like you, Atti! Very smart, and very shy.” As she told him these things, Grandma said that Atti’s whole face lit up and he just beamed. Grandma kept going, telling Atti stories about the octopus and how great it was to be shy and smart, and Atti was in heaven.
She was so touched to see it. He communicates so much to me that sometimes I forget how rarely he uses words or does it in a way others understand. But at the aquarium, Grandma saw it, and so did Atti. He stared at those animals until it was time to meet us, grateful to have somebody else in the world to understand him.