Finding Dory Review – from a kid who knows…

Finding Dory Reaction
I know it’s already been a couple weeks since Finding Dory opened in theaters, and by now, I bet most of the people who wanted to see it have seen it. But I still have a lot of feelings about it that I have to get out. This movie is IMPORTANT, y’all. And I need you to see the message clearly and teach it to your children.

Finding Nemo came out before I was a mom, so I didn’t pay it a ton of attention. I saw it like everyone, but I didn’t examine it.

Now that I have Atti, I’m suddenly aware in a whole new way that Nemo has a disability. Nemo has a “lucky fin” from a birth injury, and the whole movie is about him learning how much he’s capable of and his dad learning how to stop protecting him so much he can’t try. That’s a powerful and beautiful message for a kid like mine, and it’s one we believe. Early in his childhood we worked with a PT that drilled it into me: I had to let him fall. I had to remember that he wasn’t made of glass and that toddlers fall hundreds of times a day. That’s how they learn to use their bodies, and mine was no different. So that’s what we do. I smirk as other moms give me sideeye while I make my kid get out of his wheelchair by himself to play on the ground. When his wheelchair tips over and he falls on his face, the hardest part is dealing with other people’s reactions, not Atti’s. Between our family? We’re nailing the “let your kid do their thing” thing. It’s the rest of the world that makes that hard.

Finding Dory picks up immediately after the events of Finding Nemo, with Dory happily settled down with a reunited Nemo and his dad, when she realizes that she has no idea where her own family is, and her short term memory problems make finding them seem impossible. Dory is nothing if not optimistic, though, so instead of listening to the naysayers and the people who mock her for her disability, she sets off to find them, and of course, after going on a series of adventures, she does.

There are so many beautiful, tender, heart exploding moments in this movie. From my twin positions of someone living with disability and parenting a disabled kid, I could write a thesis about it. But what is most important to me about all of it, is how Atti reacted to it.

There are so few times in his life that he sees ANYONE like him on television as anything other than “The Magical Burden,” that seeing an athlete with an insulin pump on American Ninja Warrior has me dragging him out of bed to make him watch. Disabled people never get to win. They get to teach lessons and die.

But in this movie, not only do you have Dory with her short term memory problem, and Nemo with his lucky fin, you have a blind whale shark, a beluga whale with a head injury, and an octopus who lost a limb and seems to suffer from PTSD. This world is a brutal place for any disability, and each one comes with their own challenges and benefits. I LOVED LOVED LOVED getting to see an array of characters with diverse disabilities, including a bunch of cognitive disabilities, work together, discover their strengths, and be the heroes.

Because of Atti’s cerebral palsy, he doesn’t walk and uses a wheelchair. And that can be real tough. But he also has speech aphasia and struggles to communicate, and that is what causes the heartbreak. People treat him like he’s in a coma. As if he has the thinking skills of a beloved pet. He’s had teachers say to his face that he was retarded and that his reading skills were a fluke. He’s had family members, while he played at their feet, say that it was a shame he would never get married or ask if he liked watching The Simpsons for the colors.

But I know how to speak his language and I know just how much brilliance and insight and heart and bravery is in there, and I won’t rest until the whole world sees it. I will build paths of seashells across the whole of the internet until people see the magic in my kid is not a burden, but the joy of my life.

If you’ve never watched another video I’ve ever made, please watch this one. Show it to your kids. And tell them that there are so many people like Dory out there. And the world is lucky for it.

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