I spent today back in the hospital with Atticus, but this was a relatively easy one. As these things go anyway. Any time you have to see your child sedated it’s far from easy.
This time he just had to get an MRI. No cutting, no pain, and no overnight stay. All great things. He’s got another surgery on the horizon (more on that another day) and this was just in preparation so the surgeon knows what they’ll be dealing with once they go in there.
But still I don’t think anybody would choose a day in the hospital if they had somewhere else to be.
My little guy has had more than his share of hospital visits, and I worry he’s going to develop a huge anxiety complex, but he only seems to get braver. Today he started breathing hard once they pulled out the blood pressure cuff, but he just gripped my hand and soldiered through. They took his arm to start the IV and he knew exactly what was coming, pulling his arm away and rolling into a ball. I stroked his hair and explained what was going to happen, that it was going to hurt but only for a minute, and in a little while he would go to sleep. So he gripped my hand harder, let out a little whimper as the needle went in, and then took a big breath and went back to playing with my iphone.
He is so much calmer about these things than I am. He faded off to sleep while I tried to force some bad hospital food down my throat and tried not to pace too much knowing that he just had to sleep while inside a big tube. When they called me back to the recovery room they told me that they had to give him a lot more anesthesia than they expected. When he’s sleeping his spasticity really becomes obvious and they had to get him good and under before his legs stopped twitching. He was only getting a little more rest, but there is little in this world that freaks me out more than seeing him anesthetized. His limp little body and immobile sleep is the stuff of my nightmares.
His big surgery promises some pretty amazing developments, but also a lot of hard work. I have to work on getting over those nightmares.