I am on day 4 of my first ever treatment of Clomid, a fertility drug that is loved and feared in probably equal measure. It’s effective for hundreds and thousands of women, but the side effects are legendary.
I feel like such garbage today. My head has been aching, I’m so bloated I can’t button my pants, I’m so exhausted lifting a fork to my mouth feels like work, and I’ve been up late every night this week with insomnia and….indelicate stomach issues.
But, so far, knock on wood, my moods have been OK. All of my friends who have made it through Clomid told me that the mood swings were the worst thing about the whole experience. I’ve heard stories of weeping over television shows, rages over missing shoes, and lightening fast switches from Mary Poppins to Mr. Hyde.
After six months of Lupron, which puts you through a chemical menopause, I’m now swinging wildly to the other side of the pendulum as I’m trying to crank up the ovulation power. With all the hard work I’ve been doing to get fit I haven’t lost an ounce of weight and I think it’s safe to assume that this crazy mix of hormones is the cause. Honestly, I’m just grateful I’m still in one piece.
Ideally, all this will result in a baby, but when you’ve been at this as long as I have, you tend to lose sight of the ultimate goal. It’s enough work just to make it to the next step. If a baby comes out of this I’ll be more joyful than I know how to contain, but for today I’m just trying to concentrate on making it to tomorrow.