After naming my child Atticus you’d probably assume that I take him to the library every day, that we lounge around bookstores in our free time, that he’s already worked his way through the entire Seuss oeuvre. Not so much.
Oh it’s a sad fact of life that there are only so many hours in a day, and we all must pick and choose what we’re going to spend our time on. And even the most virtuous non-time-wasters still have to decide what good thing they’re going to have to do without. There’s just. too. much. to do. And for us, for now, the thing that we’re doing without is a ton of time reading books and out exploring the world.
Up until now, I haven’t felt too bad about it. I’m pretty realistic with myself and I’ve learned to say no over the years. I wouldn’t have thought I’d take it so personally that I can’t do everything, but now I’m starting to worry if I’m impacting his development.
He jabbers constantly, way way more than many of his friends, but his ratio of actual words is probably lower. And after last week’s zoo trip it got me thinking that maybe he could do more if I spent more time exposing him to more. Maybe if I was constantly reading to him, or taking him out to explore one new place after the other, maybe he would be able to talk and interact more. Maybe I’m inflicting my homebody-ness on him and he would be better off if I came up with a different approach. So then I get weepy and beat myself up for a while.
But then I have to remind myself that language is not the only issue we’re dealing with, and that’s one that he’ll probably, almost definitely, be able to catch up on, and that it’s far more important to address his physical needs. But since that is somewhat easier for me, seeing as it involves a whole lot of floor time and getting him to crawl around the house – which Gizmo takes care of for me, I naturally tell myself that I’m just taking the easy way out.
I suppose there’s no way to make it out of this motherhood gig without second guessing yourself. I just wish I could get it through my head that I don’t have to do it all, at least all at the same time.
Wow…you will always wonder "what if I had done…". Raising kids is a tough job, raising kids with special needs is even tougher. Kids learn at their own pace. Maybe spending 10 or 15 minutes reading or working with flash cards might be a goal. When my son was little I made flash cards with names on one side and a picture of that family member on the other. I did the same thing when we had to go for speech therapy. I had them in my purse so when we were waiting for an appointment I would pull them out and we would "play"! Make it fun. And "mama guilt" never really goes away….sorry to burst you bubble.Hugs…..Patty
I have lurked forever.gotta delurk to say this:Stop beating yourself up! you are doing tons for that sweet little man. You rejoice in the smallest achievments, you glory in the milestones he has reached, and work constantly with him, and know how to push him to WANT to work harder. You are a great mom.With that said, I do understand the tendancy of a mom to wonder. We all do it, and it just means you are normal! (sometimes normal is good)
Patty, awesome idea with the flashcards! love it!
You are doing a fantastic job with that child, Tresa. You're right – you have to prioritize. No beating yourself up. When reading becomes a priority, you will do it. But for now – first things first. Sending lots of love and support your way.
Being quite the bibliophile, I must confess to every now and again realizing that my kids aren't being read to enough. As soon as I sit down a few times to read to the kids, they quickly make me carry on. It doesn't take long for them to be pulling out the books and forcing the literary moments on me. Try to read a book a day to him (the same one is a.o.k) and before long, he will be holding you to it. and having you read that one book over and over and over again. and again.