I made these little makeup bags from this tutorial as presents for the outgoing presidency. I filled them with fancy soap and lotion and told them they all deserved a rest.

Eight weeks ago I was asked to serve as the Young Womens President, and yesterday it all finally happened. Eight weeks! For eight weeks I’ve been sitting around biting my nails and obsessing over everything I had to get done, but without being able to do anything about it. It’s made my anxiety go through the roof, but it’s also made it really hard to blog about what’s occupying my mind, because I couldn’t talk publicly about the only thing I could think about.

Young Womens is the organization at church that is over all girls 12 – 18. We teach them on Sunday and have youth group one night a week, and then there’s also a whole host of other activities and responsibilities that go with it. I’ll have a group of about 8 other women who will be working with me to get it all done, so that means planning meetings and phone calls and emails and a whole lot of work. I’ve been told by people who know that it’s a similar work load to being a PTA president. It’s slightly overwhelming.

I have been so anxious about how I’m going to fit everything in. Atti has this new therapy so he now goes to therapy four times a week, I’ll have meetings at the very least twice a week for YW, and I have the two different careers I’m juggling that I can’t bear the thought of giving up. Bear and I have talked about some changes we can make to make everything work but it’s a whole lot to manage.

Every time I look at what I’ve got on my plate, I just can’t imagine letting anything go. I can’t cut back on the blog, it’s my connection to the world. I can’t cut back on the work I’m doing in the Mormon Studies world, it keeps my brain engaged and keeps my faith in tact. I can’t do less for Atticus. And I love these girls. I can’t say no to them.

I had an old bishop who used to say, “A change is as good as a rest.” He used to listen to his kids whine about doing yardwork, so instead of letting them quit, he’d send them inside to fold laundry. He used to say that using different muscles was just as restful as using no muscles, and 100% more productive. So I’m clinging to that. When my toddler gets to be too much, I can go hang out with a bunch of teenagers who love me and tell me how great I am. When I get tired of writing, I can go make something. It will all just take some careful planning and a whole lot of discipline.

And ice cream. I think I’ll need a lot of ice cream.