Birth Announcement

It took me 9 months, but I finally got around to birth announcements for Atticus.I always imagined that I'd be right on top of that kind of thing, but in fairness, it did take him a while before he turned cute.

It didn't seem right to me to send out announcements when things were still so scary. I needed to wait for the happy ending. And then the day to day work of achieving that happy ending made a project as big as 100 announcements seem absolutely out of the question. But I did it. Eventually.


Here's the front of the card. I thought everyone in the world would recognize this quote, but apparently it only rings a bell to the 30 - 45 year old set. Here's where it came from.




Then you open one end of the card and see the scary picture. Which is far less scary in black and white.


And the last page reveals the happy ending.

My dirty little secret is that all of my cards I make work out to be 4 1/4 x 5 1/2. Years ago I bought thousands of envelopes at that size for a business endeavor, and I'm still working my way through them. Since I wanted this card to trifold and still get to that size, I knew an average piece of paper would not cut it, so I went to neenah and ordered their free samples. This is a little insider trade secret I share with all of you. Just shop in their online store and you'll discover that you can get up to 4 samples and only pay $12.95 shipping. If you buy any paper at all that price comes down. The samples vary in size, but you can find them as big as 12 1/2 x 19.

I looked all over town to find a printer who would work with my small quantities, and no one would give me the time of day, so I ended up at Kinko's. Who printed it on the wrong printer, so all the toner kept rubbing off of the pictures. If anyone has any tips on finding a better printer to work with, I'd love some solutions. Kinko's is convenient, but the quality is just not professional.

Thanksgiving Tree

I've kind of become obsessed with trees over the years. I think Christmas got me started. I don't know what it is, but nothing makes me happier then staring at a beautifully composed Christmas tree all lit up, with a cup of cocoa in my hand and a kitty on my lap. When I married Bear and saw how crazy his parents go for Christmas, I knew I had to jump in, but they rely mainly on dolls, which just creep me right out. I knew that my festivities would involve trees as far as the eye could see.

Maybe it's a subconscious thing - my friends and family do call me Tree after all.

Anyway, when it was time to decorate for Thanksgiving I knew there was only one way to go. This time it would be a gratitude tree.




I made up a bowl full of little paper ornaments, and I make everyone who enters my home contribute. I've got friends from school, my young women from church, Atti's therapists, and of course my dinner guests.



The rules are simple: Write something you're grateful for, but it can't be something everyone is grateful for. You can't write "My Family" or "My Job" or "My House." You can write something about those things, but it has to be specific.



Some of my favorites:

The cool side of the pillow
stand up comedy
A crisp night and an open window
the DVR
fuzz
a hug from my baby after a long day of work (guess who wrote that one)
that tart frozen yogurt
my fancy chef's knife
the back of a baby neck

I have a ton of work ahead of me - getting the house ready for much beloved guests, dealing with a cranky teether, starting all the cooking. I'm pretty much following my typical menu (along with time-tested battle plan you can see here)except this year I'm going to add a side of corn with bacon, and instead of whipped sweet potatoes, I'm going to do the traditional baked with little marshmallows. Then at the grocery store last night I got one of my wild hairs and decided that I absolutely could not go another year without making a homemade cranberry sauce. So I just grabbed a couple things I thought would work and I'm going to make it up as I go along. Also, in the time since that post Bear has become a fabulous pastry chef, so instead of my trifle, I'm going to turn the second dessert over to him and let him make a pumpkin chocolate swirl cheesecake.

Cooking a big dinner for guests is one of my purest joys in life. I'm a little stressed today, but to me, it's like the feeling you get waiting in line for a roller coaster. I was so torn about this dinner because part of me wanted to invite everyone we knew, and the other part wanted to hog The Good Twin and her family all to myself. I just need to throw dinner parties more often.

Holiday Decorations

I have to admit, I normally skip right over Thanksgiving. We've rarely been home for it, and our Halloween and Christmas over-the-top-ness tends to just swallow it whole. But this year I'm actually hosting, so I had to at least do a little something.

I've got a great centerpiece idea for tomorrow, so stay tuned, but for today I thought I'd share the first holiday impression my house makes.


That big black line down the middle is so distracting. So here's one wreath on its own.



By the time I decided I was going to throw up some Thanksgiving decorations, all the fall stuff was pretty much gone from Michael's, and I had zero time to make a trip down to my favorite floral design mart, so I had to make due with what I found.

I started with a cheap pine-like wreath, and to try to tone down some of the green, I dunked the ends in gold glitter. Then I raided the Christmas pick section and looked for anything in the copper family. I knew I was out of luck if I wanted fall leaves, but I thought that there could be enough glittered leaves and acorns and berries that I could still pull something together. I bought enough picks to completely surround the wreath (agian, trying to tone down that bright green).



After I finished the glitter process, I wrapped a glittery brown swirl ribbon around the wreath a few times, tucking the ribbon in among the branches, and hot gluing the ends down. Then I just started adding the picks and smearing hot glue all over the place. After I was about half done, I wasn't loving the look of it. So I looked around my studio for something else I could toss in there, and that's when I came across the feathers.


I've had two enormous boxes of feathers sitting in my garage for about six years, another left over from that legendary failed business attempt. They come sewn together on a string like a garland, so I cut some off and stuck it around wherever I thought it needed a little something. I know I've seen some sold the same way at Michael's. Look in the floral design section by the grapevine.



To finish it off I tied a bow out of that same glittery swirl brown ribbon and one from a solid copper ribbon I had lying around. Nothing fancy, just the same type of bow you'd use to tie your shoes, and then I fussed with it till it looked nice. I glued those ribbons on top of each other with a little feathery rosette and the look was complete.

Back when I worked at Michael's I got to be friendly with the floral design person, and she taught me a ton. The most important lesson was: this stuff is not hard. It really couldn't be any easier. You just take a bunch of stuff that you like and think looks good together, and you tie it up with a bow. There's absolutely nothing to be intimidated by.

Come see what I've been working on....

As I've mentioned once or twice now, I have been working on the house really hard lately. I've got all kinds of projects I'll focus on individually, but for today I thought I'd give you an updated tour of the downstairs. We finally managed to get rugs for this joint, and oh my gosh the difference it has made.

For starters, I no longer have to run to the bathroom eight times a day just to wash off my feet. I also don't have to have Atti's therapy on the dining room table to prevent the poor therapists from rolling around in dustballs. And best of all, I get to regularly break out the love of my life - the Dyson - and put him through his paces.

I got all our rugs from Overstock.com, and I'd never even waste my time looking anywhere else anymore. We searched for months, everywhere from Home Depot to fancy carpet stores, and everything was either boring, more expensive than my couch, or both. Usually both. Overstock has a great selection, and free shipping. We're pleased as punch.


Let's start in the dining room:

This carpet is pretty plain, navy blue with some little squares in the corners, but it's perfect for what I wanted to accomplish here. I didn't want a pattern that wouldn't make sense with a giant table blocking most of it, and I needed to bring the navy blue into this side of the house.

Then let's go to the family room:

I had so much of my other colors in this room, I knew this rug needed to be somewhere in the rosy spectrum. So much was going to be exposed, I didn't want it to be plain, but since so much was going to be exposed, I also didn't want it too busy. I'm thrilled with how this carpet is perfectly in the middle. And the round pattern echoes a motif I have running all throughout the house: round couch, round chairs in the entry room, round picture frames, you get the idea.

I've also gotten some new furniture for this room since the last tour:

The entertainment center is nothing special - just West Elm's catalog - but after a year of searching for something to fit that space and still allow a TV on top, it's like gold to me. West Elm has loads of long, low, furniture options and it just happened to solve a major design dilemma for me. More than one person has asked if we had it custom built.

The coffeetable (round again, what do you know?) was a Craigslist find for a whopping $75. Vintage midcentury modern table with a teak veneer that matches the desk in the little office nook across the way, and it is *precisely* the right size for that space. I think it'd be too small for most places, but for that spot, with the furniture I've already got? It's exactly exactly right. I tell you, I have had the best Craigslist mojo ever.

And now for my favorite rug:

This was the smallest space I had to work with, and the space with the least amount of color going on, so I wanted to really cut loose. I almost talked myself out of this one because it looked so wild on my computer screen, but I'm so grateful I trusted my gut and went for it. People go nuts over this rug. This rug alone turned this little neglected sitting space into a room.

OK, enough rug talk. Here's the latest change to the kitchen:

I adore serving pieces, but I didn't have anyplace to put them. I can't fit a china cabinet in my dining room, and the kitchen cabinets are too narrow for some of my mammoth platters, so I figured I'd store them up on top. I was looking around for cheap plate stands, but each one that was sturdy enough to hold a plate was about $10, so I put this project off. Then I got the idea of nailing a piece of molding in place along the cabinets to create kind of a pencil ledge. I figured I could just balance the platters between the wall and the molding and save myself a quick $100. Then I thought, why even bother with the molding? I ended up marking where I wanted each plate or bowl to go, and then nailing a couple of nails in place to hold the bottom edge. It actually ended up working better than the molding because I can customize each dish individually. So if I have a bowl with a really high side I can move the nails out closer to the edge and move the nails closer to the wall for a platter.

I feel like this place is finally getting close to finished. I just need to work on the walls now, I think I have maybe five pictures hung in this whole place.

A Dream Come True

There are about seven different paths I could have gone down in life and still been happy. One of them is as a chef. Culinary school always sat in the back of my mind as something that I would love to do someday...along with vocal training, an MFA, school for design (interior or graphic), training for a marathon, and art classes. I suppose it was always slightly more likely than everything else because of the practical application in my family life, but it seemed just as misty and far off as any other dream I'm not currently pursuing.

And then I just fell backwards into the luckiest opportunity ever and before I knew it I was in a kitchen in checkered pants and a funny looking hat on my head.

California has a program called ROP, Regional Occupational Program, where you can receive training in specific fields for free. Usually it's things like Diesel Mechanics or Heating and Air Conditioning. It's a benefit to the community to fill certain jobs, and it's a benefit to get people more and better employment. I happen to live in an area chock-a-block with casinos desperate for trained chefs, and so for absolutely no money, I get to get training from a Certified Executive Chef in a nationally accredited program. And the best part is that it only meets one night a week.

I'm never again going to have an opportunity like this. I've looked into culinary schools before and they were full time and then some and cost thousands and thousands of dollars. Never again will I be able to take one class at a time one night a week and save myself that price tag. So even though I really really really don't need one more thing on my calendar, I have to make this work.


I'm having a blast. I lucked into a fantastic team and we work so great together. We laugh and tease and scream for each other when we manage to flip an egg without breaking the yolk.


My best Iron Chef face.



My chef looks scary, but he's a teddy bear. Somehow he manages to keep us all entertained through five straight hours of lectures. And this is my friend Ieesha. She always calls me her "new best friend." And just last week we discovered that our birthdays are on the same day. We giggled like maniacs.

I've always done well at schoolwork from the book, but labwork is a little more difficult for me. I was really nervous that once I got in the kitchen I'd fall apart, but so far I'm doing really well. We have three weeks of finals coming up, a couple of practical exams and a final written exam, and I'm already having anxiety dreams about it. The other night I dreamed that Chef just started testing us on random abilities. He pulled out a big piano and started playing, and we had to sing a song on the spot. Then we had to paint a piece of ceramics, and then do a math problem. All while wearing our big chefs jackets and goofy hats. I was hoping that I'd be able to relax a little more this time through school, but apparently those pressures never go away.

My latest Grand Scheme

Most of my little bloggy vacation was caused by finally getting my stinking goodfornothing computer back from the shop. I've been spending all my brief moments with two hands reformatting everything. I lost so much stuff that makes no real difference, but is an absolute pain in the neck to put back together. itunes playlists, fonts I have to redownload and install, podcasts I have to resubscribe to, all the downloads - flash, java, spyware, itunes, reinstalling all the peripherals like printers and cameras and video cameras and a 5 year old palm pilot, recreating my little file organization, setting up email, and ALLLLLLLLL the internet bookmarks.

I have big goals for this little blog, but like everything else in my life, I struggle to find the balance. Despite my best efforts I seem to be an all or nothing kind of person. Either I'm blogging so much I have a weeks worth of entries scheduled, or I'm abandoning it entirely. Either I'm not making anything at all or I'm so frantic with creative energy that the thought of sitting still and sharing what I'm doing makes my hair itch.

As soon as October comes around, my frantic creativity kicks in to full gear. From October to January I am almost always wearing paint stained pajamas and am covered in glitter. This is the time of year that most energizes the idea centers in my brain. I have more ideas than my two meager little hands could ever hope to crank out, and so I tend to abandon everything in my life and hole away in my studio cranking out ornaments and presents and fancy wrapping ideas.

This year I'm committed to doing things differently. Knowing it was Atti's first Christmas with us, I didn't want to pull my usual routine. I didn't want to over commit myself and create so much artificial stress for myself that I couldn't enjoy anything. This year we're scaling back on presents, I'm scaling back on my expectations for myself. This year my rule is that any decorations not finished by December 1st just don't make it up. If the week of Christmas rolls around and I'm still trying to handmake presents, it's time to put that away for next year and just buy something already. This year I want to spend my time with friends and family and sharing the season.

With that being the goal, I have some plans for this little bloggy space. In the past couple of months I've seen a lot of new readers (Hi everybody! Thanks for visiting! Buongiorno, Italianos!) and I know from my own obsessive blog reading that it's no fun to read a blog if the person isn't truly sharing. My plan (let's be honest here, it's more like a hope given my track record) is to post every day in December to share my version of Christmas. We have great traditions, and bonkers decorations, and those are what I love reading about the most, so it only makes sense that I should share it with everyone I'm asking to read my blog.

That means that I've got to spend the rest of this month getting my blog caught up. I've been working like crazy on the house, Atticus is getting bigger and stronger every day, I've been cooking every night, and in my typical style I've been getting myself too wound up to take a moment every day, sit with myself, and share what I dedicate my life to. I need to stop that.

I recently listed this place with the blog directory Delightful Blogs, and I had to write a blurb describing what I do over here. I didn't spend a ton of time on it, I just kind of took a deep breath and here's what poured out:

So much of my life over the last five years has not been fit for public consumption. This blog is my attempt to communicate with the world despite the messiness of infertility, premature babies, unemployment and other ridiculous bad luck. It helps not having to witness immediate reactions. I write about my new journey into motherhood, all the stuff I make, and trying to create a life of grace amid the temptations of a Southern California life. I want to be a more peaceful person, more grateful, more appreciative of every moment, with a clearer vision for the direction of my family. And yet at the moment I'm a bundle of neuroses and contradictory ambitions. There's a whole lot I want to do in this world. I wonder if I ever will.

I'm really pleased with that. I don't know how I managed to get out of my own way and actually articulate what's been rattling around in my head for so long, but I think that's it. That's how I feel. That's what I aspire to. That's how I want to be better.

Thank you for your patience with me. Thank you for reading. Thank you for coming along with me as I pinball my way towards progression.

We voted!

And our guy won!



I can't even begin to explain how much grief I took this time around. I don't come in contact with a single other democrat in my daily life, and the particular republicans I do come in contact with are just as single-mindedly certain about their political views as they are in their religious views, even frequently thinking that the two are nearly interchangable.

There are a million reasons why I'm thrilled to death with the outcome, but I think I'm going to let them all rest. I've borne more than my share of the vented spleens of the republicans I know who want to debate with the one democrat in the vacinity, I don't think I'm going to compound the issue by rubbing my reasoning in their faces.

I'll just hope extra hard my faith was well placed and pray for his safety every day.