This photo is already a couple weeks old. Now he has a little more chub to his cheeks, and he’s even beginning to sprout a double chin. Instead of looking like a weird little wrinkley thing, now he looks like a baby. I’ll take photos tonight, but between my lack of time to do absolutely anything, and the fact that anytime I ask my computer to do something it practically starts smoking, I can’t promise when they’ll actually find their way here.
So far we think he’s going to be a mini-me. He’s definitely got my nose. That nose is a Brown family tradition. It’s apparently the most dominant gene in the world, because you can’t make a baby with a Brown without getting that nose. I think he’s also got my chin and my cheeks, but for so much of his life we’ve had to view his face from under tape and tubes, so we could easily be mistaken there. I’m also guilty for his attitude, but I’ll get to that later.
Atticus seems to have finally turned a corner. After ripping his tube out himself a grand total of five (5!!) times*, he is now on a nasal canula, with high flow oxygen. Here’s what that means: There are basically four types of oxygen he could be on, and as of this moment he is on the second least aggressive. If he can sustain this level, then we can move forward and start working on eating by the weekend or so. This is unbelievably huge. Once he can take all his feedings by mouth, he can come home. Even if he has to stay on oxygen, they’ll send him home with a tank. As long as he can eat from bottle or breast.
*5 times. My son ripped out his tube five times. Everyone in the NICU was in disbelief with this kid. The nurses said it was a record. The respiratory therapist said it was unheard of. My kid is apparently so willful and pigheaded that he wants things done his way even if it means he can’t breath. He did not like that tube and no amount of logic or necessity was going to prevail upon him. It’s going to be interesting to see what he’s like when he’s two. I think we’re screwed.
For the most part my mood has been pretty good. We’ve fallen into a routine, and just like other times of high stress in my life, I’ve found so much comfort in a familiar rhythm. The days have been flying past in no time at all because I can only think in three hour chunks. I wake up, pump, eat breakfast, pump, eat lunch, pump, work on something for an hour if I hurry, pump, either work on something else for an hour if I hurry or make dinner, pump, eat dinner, drive down and visit Atticus, drive home, pump extra long to make up for the missed session, sleep, pump, sleep, pump, sleep, pump, lather, rinse, repeat. There’s not a ton of time to be depressed or anxious because I always need to be moving on to the next thing needing to be done.
Living strapped to the pump is getting wicked old, though. For years I’ve heard stories of the pain of engorgement or rock hard boobs from the milk coming in and I can’t relate to any of that. I have to be religious about pumping because I don’t have any biological inspiration making things work the way they’re supposed to. I have to manufacture my milk supply through constant, unceasing pumping. I’m totally my lactation consultants favorite student. A lot of moms of preemies give up, because as I may not have made clear, it is an AWFUL lot of work. But it’s something I’m committed to. My milk supply is the joke of the NICU. I currently take up four bins in the freezer when other moms are allowed one.
When I can squeeze it in between pumpings (or as Bear calls them, milkings) I’ve been working on his room. I’ve now got all the painting done and the vinyl letter border up, and now I’m working on the bedding. I don’t have much time left though, because if he keeps heading in the right direction, he could be home in two or three weeks.
AWESOME news! So glad that he's progressing nicely. You've got one tough little guy on your hands, but he holds the key to your heart, huh? (HUGS) and hope everything continues on a smooth path so he can be home soon. Suz/VA
I am so happy to hear things are going well
Love the picture of the little man. Kudos to you on the pumping. I know what work that must be. It is so worth it tho.Can't wait to hear that he is home where he belongs!~Laney(a former UN)
This is such exciting news! Now does this mean we can call you two "Brown-nosers"?
Oh what a beautiful little guy. I can't wait till he is home with you. Sounds like he improving all the time. Hugs, Mary Former Un
here's your stranger blog-stalker again!hooray! you've made it past the worst! and LOL, mine pulled out his tube all the time, too. it's only the beginning of all the trouble he'll make for you.
i don't want to scare you, but the nursing is probably going to be a lot of work. you sound like you have a good bulldog attitude about it, though. our attempts at nursing in-hospital were so unsuccessful that i gave up and let him be bottle-fed pumped milk, just so i could get him home sooner.when we brought Paul home (on oxygen & a heart monitor) and i attempted to get him switched from bottle to breast it was a LOT of work and agony. use your lactation specialist, use la leche league. i relied too much on me and made myself miserable. we used a little bottle system that hooked on my shoulder and trailed a tiny tube down to the nipple, so no matter what the baby gets some milk at every nursing attempt. it worked, and i ended up nursing Paul until he was 16 months old.you're doing great! Atticus looks really good, even if that is an out-of-date picture.hey, does your hospital do milk donation? might be an idea for your abundant supply (i felt horrible pouring my excess down the drain – my old-school mormon "don't waste" upbringing).
I was SO happy to see the picture and the update that I cried through it all!It's great that he's progressing so well – what a good Easter you all will have, with him starting to eat and all. He's just gorgeous and getting more beautiful all the time. I love that you got a picture with his eyes open!Good luck with the pumping and the feeding – it sounds as if you're going to be even more busy in the next few weeks, if that's possible. [ About that chart of household chores - maybe not so much
]I second the idea of milk donation. I worked in a hospital that did that, and it was a great help to a lot of new mothers. Also, a friend had preemie quads and had to depend on the help of the milk bank.Can't wait to hear more good news about Atticus – hopefully that he's soon home with lots of love to surround him.Bev2355
It's great to see a picture. I hope he just keeps improving. I'm a pumper too. I pump 4-6 times a day. I used to have to pump more often but now I do it less often and get the same amount. Cameron and I have laching problems and he doesn't tolerate formula very well. I hope you're doing it hands free. If not I can explain how.