Can I just get away with saying ….Ug.
I feel like such hot crap. Luckily I haven’t been throwing up constantly like my poor friend Bev, but I have been constantly nauseous. Especially after I eat. Oh gosh. I’m here at 2:15 and still sick from eating breakfast at 10:30. It sucks.
I’ve also had a ton of sciatica pain. It is just the weirdest thing. All of a sudden I’ll get this shooting pain in my upper butt. It doesn’t feel like back pain, it feels like I’m being stabbed in the top of my butt. It just takes my breath away and if I don’t listen to the pain and lie down immediately, then it will just progress until I literally can’t walk.
I’m bored stupid because I have to spend most of my day laying down, and being too sick to even work on anything while I’m there. Instead I just flip channels and want to cry over the state of daytime TV.
Although it sucks, all these symptoms are very bittersweet. I felt great with Bookcase. I felt healthier than I ever had before, and they say that if you feel different symptoms, you can often expect a different outcome. So I’m remaining skeptically optimistic.
I have an appointment a week from today and then I’ll be eight weeks and we should be looking for a heartbeat. Maybe after that we’ll be able to drop our guard and be ecstatic.
Bear’s taken a couple days off of work, so we’re going to go sit at the beach and I’ll keep trying not to throw up. Gosh this entry sucks, but it’s all I can do to sit here long enough to type out these few staccato words. I just have to keep reminding myself: The nausea is my friend.